Doctors, Nurses, And EMTs, Tell Us Your Most Unhinged Patient Stories

A lot of things happen in hospitals — some heartbreaking, some heartwarming. But every so often, a patient comes in and says or does something so bizarre, so wildly unfiltered, you just have to laugh.

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So, if you're a doctor, nurse, EMT, or medical professional, tell us: What's the most absurd, hilarious, or straight-up unhinged thing you've witnessed on the job?

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Perhaps you had a woman come into the ER with a full-body rash. Interestingly, her skin was also covered in...sparkles. She was absolutely convinced she was having a rare, life-threatening allergic reaction. Turns out she had lathered herself in glitter body lotion from 2002.

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Maybe you had a middle-aged guy who was in the hospital long-term after a serious accident. He needed multiple surgeries and a long road of rehab. The problem was, his surgeries kept having to be rescheduled MULTIPLE times because he could not for the life of him follow the instructions of fasting the night before. One morning, around 6 a.m., right before anesthesia, you noticed he looked...suspicious. Turns out, he had a half-eaten slice of pizza hidden in his hospital bed "for emergencies." When you asked what kind of emergency, he said, "Hunger, obviously."

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Or, perhaps, you were taking care of a 5-year-old boy who needed to get shots in his arm, but he wouldn't sit still, so you requested his mom to help hold him. While you were both holding him, he kept yelling, "Help!" "Help!" and then he escalated, screaming at the top of his lungs, "HELPPPP! POLICE! POLICE!" A police officer was actually on the floor for an unrelated reason, and you had to calmly explain to him it was not a hostage situation but a simple vaccination.

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So, if you've had a memorable patient experience ranging from hilarious to unhinged, please do share. You can let us know in the comments or at this anonymous form.

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